A lot has happened the last 2-1/2 weeks. I had surgery on Monday,
November 17th. Jeff, Kaci, Mom, Bonnie, Wayne and Debby all came with
me. We had to be at Ogden Regional at 9:30AM. After registration we
didn't have to wait long to be taken back to the pre-op room. After
they got me settled with an IV I asked for something to relax me. The
kind old nurse Clyde let Kaci push the button to inject it into my IV. I
immediately relaxed and even took a little nap. I could only have 2
people or 3 with Kaci in the pre-op room with me so we switched off
people from time to time. I don't remember what time it was but a
couple of hours later Dr. Megan came in and injected a radioactive die
into my right breast. It hurt so bad but luckily I was still a little
loopy from the relaxation medication. That had to sit for 2 hours prior
to surgery. The injection was to light up the sentinel lymph nodes
that were going to be removed for biopsy. I think they came and got me
around 2:30ish for surgery, I don't even remember since I was so out of
it. That was a good thing though because I was so nervous. I remember
somewhat waking up in the hospital room and everybody was there but I
couldn't make out what anybody was saying I was so groggy. I do
remember Kaci on one side of me and Jeff on the other talking to me.
Wayne and Debby left first. Bonnie, Mom and Kaci stayed for quite a
while. It was almost 9:00PM and I had to tell Kaci that she needed to
get home to read her book for school the next day and get some sleep so
she could go to school. Bonnie was kind enough to sleep over at our
house with Kaci. I also had to tell Kaci she needed to get home to feed
the dogs and cat. When she got home she called me 2 or 3 times saying
she missed me. She was so scared. I told to her have a prayer with
Grandma Bonnie to help relax her nerves. I had flowers that were
delivered to the hospital from Team 9 at my work, it was so nice and
thoughtful of them. I had Bonnie take them home that night since I would be home early the next day. Jeff stayed the
night with me at the hospital. They kept an IV of fluid going on full
force so I had to go to the bathroom about 10 times that night. I could
not get out of bed by myself so every time I had to wake up Jeff help me, I wasn't about to have the nurses come every time.
We had to take off the oxygen sensor and it would beep very loudly
until you connected it again. The alarms for low
oxygen kept going off so they put the oxygen back on me and then the
pulse alarm kept going off because my pulse was lower than what it
should be. I was told this was from the anesthesia as well as the
hydrocodone that I was taking for pain. About 3AM they came in to draw
blood and someone had a sign above me that said no needle sticks or
blood pressure cuff on upper extremities so they took blood out of my
feet. He had to prick both feet for a total of 3 pricks to get enough
blood. At least I was on heavy medication because it didn't hurt as bad
as I thought it would. Shortly after that I told the nurse about
having to go to the bathroom so much and I was tired of the alarms going
off and we weren't getting any rest. She turned down the IV fluids
quite a bit and lowered the alarm for the pulse so that it wouldn't keep
going off. Finally we got about 3 hours of rest until 6:30AM.
After
we woke up I had to use the bathroom again and decided to look at
myself in the mirror with Jeff. I was horrified by how large the
incisions were and how red and ugly they were. I started to cry and
immediately covered back up. Because of cancer, drastic measures
sometimes have to be taken. Jeff and I were hungry from being up all
night so we ordered 2 breakfast burritos that were so dry and gross. I
ate a little bit because I was so hungry. Megan came in about 9:00AM
and asked if we were ready to go home. Of course we both said yes. She
asked if we were ready to look and I told her we already did. She was
proud of me. We were going to do it together for added support. She
took a peek at everything and said it all looks like it is supposed to
and told us she would get them the paperwork needed to release us. As
soon as they came in to remove the IV's Jeff helped me to get dressed.
We waited for probably another 1-1/2 hours before they let us go. I
think we left around noon. We stopped by Winegar's pharmacy on the way
home so Jeff could fill my prescriptions while I waited in the car. As
soon as we got home Jeff helped me into our bedroom and onto the love
seat we moved in there and I went to sleep. I did see that my mom left
flowers on our counter that were from her and Kaci. I set the alarm on my phone
for every 4 hours and took my medication faithfully for the first 5 days
or so. I slept pretty much the entire time. Only waking to go to the
bathroom, eat a little bit and drink water. My mouth was so dry and I
think it was from the medications so I chewed a lot of gum and drank a
ton of water. I don't remember when the flowers started arriving but
everyday the doorbell rang and Jeff would come in and stir me awake to
show me. I started to cry every time. I could not believe how kind
people were and then I started to wonder if I should be more scared than
I was and if it this was more serious than I was taking it.
Jeff
had school on Tuesday and Wednesday night so mom came over and sat with
me. Kaci went to dance and played at Lacey's house quite a bit this
week. We were trying to keep her as busy as possible. Around Saturday I tried to cut down on the hydrocodone and just take Tylenol
and Motrin. That didn't take very well so I started back up on the
pills.
Monday, November 24th we had an appointment with another
oncologist out in Layton named Dr. Jason Stinnett. We just didn't feel good about Dr. Johnson so I wanted a second opinion. He was wonderful
and we really liked everybody we met. He had my pathology report
back from surgery and the cancer was in one of the 2 sentinel lymph
nodes that were removed for biopsy during surgery. He said there was
just a little bit of cancer in the one node and because there wasn't any
in the other node then we can assume that this was the only one. I am
now staged at IIIa. He is going to do the chemo schedule in 4 months
instead of 6. So I will have AC 4 times every other week and then Taxol
4 times every other week. The Taxol will equal the 12 weekly does
however it will be done a lot sooner, they call this dose dense. I really liked this plan much
better because I get it over with sooner. He was very thorough in what
he told us. We will go to a chemo class on the 8th and had to fill 4
prescriptions to bring with us and they will go over everything with us
prior to my first treatment on 12/15.
On Tuesday, November 25th
we had an appointment with Megan. Both mom and Jeff came. She took my
drains out and it hurt really bad when she pulled them. I couldn't
wait to get the drains out, they were very uncomfortable and hurt
anytime I bent over. She said everything looked good and went over the
pathology report as well. Not only was my tumor greater than 5cm but I
had extensive lobular carcinoma in situ so really a mastectomy at least
on the right side was the only option. In the left breast there wasn't
any signs of cancer just some fibroademas. I still made the right
decision on doing both of them because I don't ever want to have that
fear of it returning in the other breast. Of course this cancer can
return in other areas of my body and I sure hope it never does but I am
keeping it in my mind that is a possibility. For this reason I am doing
chemotherapy and radiation to help lower the risk of re-occurrence.
After this appointment we stopped by my work. I was wanting to see them
so bad. We went upstairs and talked with Sterling, Steve and Terry and
then Kent and Jean came up to see me. It was so good to see everybody
for a few minutes. Terry gave me a card with money in it that was
collected from the day shift and from the office. Spencer Preece had
some hats made for me that are wonderful. I started crying again. I am
so humbled by the generosity of others. The night shift did a fundraiser of their own and Kelly brought it to me on Friday, November 14th, they are all such great friends. I absolutely love everybody I work with. This was the day I stopped all
my hydrocodone and just started taking Tylenol and Motrin for the pain.
Thanksgiving
was that Thursday on the 27th and we had it at our house. That was the
first day I actually wore jeans and got all ready. It felt good to
know that I was in something other than PJ's or sweats. Debby and Wayne
and mom came over about 1:00PM and we all prepared the rest of the
meal. They all stayed until about 5:00 and then mom, Jeff, Kaci and I
ventured to Wal-Mart for some Black Friday shopping. Nothing too
serious I just wanted to get some movies. I stood in a corner with a
shopping cart in front of me while they searched for the movies. We
found all of them that we wanted and then stood in a huge line for about
another hour or so to pay. It was so nice to get out into the real
world even if it was a short trip. We then went to Old Navy but I just
stayed in the car. I was wiped out. We got home around 9:00PM and I
went right to bed.
Friday the 28th Hadlee came over to play and I
didn't do a thing really. I rested on the couch all day and even took a
nap. It was so nice to have Kaci and Hadlee playing here at my house
though. It has been so quiet the last 2 weeks. We made some dinner and
then took Hadlee home about 8:00PM.
Saturday the 29th Jeff went
duck hunting and mom, Kaci and I went to Kohl's to find Kaci a shirt and
scarf for her school program the next week. We then went to Village
Inn for breakfast and then decided to go to a movie. I didn't want to
go home at all but did have a small nap before the movie started. This
was another big day for me and I wasn't even worn out. I felt normal
but of course I do carry the pain around with me but I try and not think
about it.
Sunday the 30th we didn't do much. Kaci and I did
the laundry and that was it. We heated up a bagged freezer dinner that
was given to us by friends. Kaci
made us a dessert all by herself, she was so proud and we were so proud
of her. We went to bed early that night to get ready for Monday.
Monday,
December 1st we got Kaci off to school and had a physical therapy
appointment at 10:30AM over at Ogden Clinic in Roy. They were so nice
there and had me to do a lot of exercises to help get my arms moving and
to help prevent lymph-edema. Afterwards Jeff and I went to Taco Time
for lunch and then he was going to head into work and I decided to call my work and see if I could come in for a couple of
hours. I was so jealous that Jeff was going back to work and I didn't
want to go home to a quiet house all by myself. Dee let me come in and I
did some "clean up" type work. It felt so good and I was so proud of
myself for making it to work 2 weeks post op. I was told there was no
way I would be able to do that and the recovery time was 4-6 weeks. Of
course I am not working full days by any means but will try and go in
2-3 days a week for the next couple of weeks and then take Christmas
break off to be with Kaci. I don't know that I will be able to work the
week of December 15th since that is my first chemo treatment but I will
at least try.
Tuesday, December 2nd. I woke up super sore and I
am sure it was from physical therapy the day before. Mom and I had an
appointment at Creative Wigs to get my wig cut shorter. I love it now
and it looks just like my new shorter haircut. Since I have cut my hair short it was so
hard to get used to the long hair on the wig that I picked out prior to
having my hair cut. Then we stopped by Hapari Swimwear to try on their
swim suits since they are all mastectomy friendly suits. Wow, they are
super cute and when they have another 40% coupon I am going to buy 2
tops and one pair of shorts. I have a few skirts that are still way
cute that will go with the tops. They had the 40% off sale for Black
Friday and Cyber Monday but yesterday it was only 20%. After that we
went to lunch at Applebee's and got home around 2:30PM. I took a short
30 minute nap and then Kaci was home. Her school program was at 6:00PM
and we had to be there at 5:30PM. She did great but by the time I got
home I was in so much pain it even made me a cry a little bit. I took 2
more Tylenol on top of the 3 Motrin I took around 2:30PM and tried to
go to bed. I didn't get to sleep until almost 11:00PM. The nights are
hard for me and my mind wanders like no other.
Today I woke up at
6:00AM and felt a little better I am not nearly as sore as yesterday
but of course I didn't practice any of my new moves that the physical
therapist wanted me to either. I go again today so I will beg for
forgiveness. I don't know what he has in store for me today, I will
find out at 9:15AM. After that I planned on going to work for an hour
or two to get a couple more things done. I don't know if I will go to
work tomorrow or just take it easy before our appointment with Dr.
Fisher at 2:30PM.
My heart is breaking for Kaci she is so
clingy and wants to still sleep in our room. She never lets me out of
her sight. Last night after the program she was holding my hand and
guarding me from anybody bumping in to me. She is quite my little
"mom". I love her so much and I wish this was different for her. It
makes me so sad.
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