Tuesday, January 27, 2015 (Day 1)- Today I woke up feeling a little light headed but I ate my breakfast and went back to bed until 10:30AM. I have felt pretty good much of the day but very tired. Mom came over about noon and made us lunch and then we sat on the couch and watched TV until about 5:00PM. I pulled some Lasagne soup out of the freezer for dinner and heated that up and made some garlic bread. It was a nice and easy dinner to throw together for my family. I think I will be heading to bed early tonight. It is only 7:00PM and I am exhausted. I know tomorrow (Wednesday) in the past has been when the side effects really hit. I guess I will just wake up and see what happens tomorrow. My fingers are crossed that this round will be easier than the last three. I can't wait until later next week when I feel good and never have to feel like this again.
(Day 2 & 3) Wednesday, January 28th and Thursday, January 29th- Yesterday all I did was sleep. I was only awake for about 3 hours total. About an hour for breakfast, an hour for lunch and an hour for dinner. I took a bath after dinner and went straight to bed. I didn't sleep too good. I kept getting hot flashes and had to go to the bathroom even though I didn't drink a lot. Today (Thursday) was a better day. I still slept a lot but I kept my naps to about an hour each time. I honestly don't remember how many naps I had today but I was still awake a lot more than I was yesterday. I haven't really felt nauseous today, more just fatigued. My good friend and neighbor, Leslie brought us some delicious chicken noodle soup and rolls along with a chocolate cake (my reward for finishing the 4 AC treatments) for dinner last tonight. Tonight she brought us pizza and bread sticks. I am so humbled by my good friends and neighbors. I never thought I would be one to want or need to accept something as simple as a dinner but it sure has been a blessing. With Jeff working and me feeling like this we wouldn't get dinner until 8:00PM if these great friends didn't pitch in. I love them so much and I am so humbled by their generosity. They all work and have family's of their own but they still take the time out to make my family dinner too.
Friday, January 30, 2015 (Day 4)- Today I woke up and felt a little bit nauseous so I took my pills. I only took a 1/2 hour nap all day long even though I did not sleep good last night. I have terrible congestion and a cough thanks to the chemo. I ended up going in the other room to sleep so Jeff could get some rest. Regardless I have had pretty good day overall. Mom brought me lunch about 12:30PM and then we headed into the doctor's office at 1:15PM so I could get some fluids. I met some really nice people there today and had some great conversations. I love when the room is so friendly and we can all talk openly like we did. There was even a young guy, Drew who was 22 years old and hasn't even been married for a year yet who was getting an infusion for MS. He said he has an aggressive form of MS and will probably be in a wheelchair in 6 months. He was so positive and nice and very caring. He was diagnosed with MS after only being married for 4 months. What a journey he and his new wife are going through. I will pray for them every day. I also talked with two other ladies who have had the same AC chemo as me, one has only had 2 of her 4 treatments. We can relate a lot in our side effects while the other one had no side effects at all. She is very lucky! I feel great right now and I really hope that I am doing great and that the side effects won't come back to bite me!!! I hope the fluids give my body a boost for the weekend and by Monday I will be as good as new. I also talked with the chemo nurse Lisa about what to expect on Taxol. She told me there is very little nausea involved in Taxol but that I might feel more body aches and tingling in my hands and feet. She said with the dose dense version (4 treatments) that I am getting I may not get the tingling in the hands and feet. She sees that more in people who have the 12 weekly doses. I sure hope Taxol is good to me, I could really use a break from all that I have been put through the last few months. I can't wait to finish chemo and start radiation, I know those 5 weeks are going to be hard as well. Just getting there every day is half the battle. I can't wait to be done with all of this and I can finally see an end in sight. I know summer is just around the corner and I can't wait to play hard. I think Jeff is going to take off summer semester as well so we can live life normally for a few months. We want to camp every weekend and swim every weeknight in our little above ground pool that we bought last year, and have lots of BBQ and swim nights with our neighbors who have been so good to us. Life is to short and we want to make up for all the time we lost these past few months. Of course when fall arrives he will go back to school but I think if we have a super fun summer then we will be ready to get back into real life and face whatever challenges are ahead. Tonight our friends Heidi and Rob are bringing us dinner. Everybody seriously is so good to us. I even feel a little bit guilty because I could probably make my own dinner tonight but judging on the past doses of AC I was down and out even on Friday nights. I love my friend and family to the moon and back. I have such a great support system behind me.
Saturday, January 31, 2015 (Day 5)- Today we took Jake to the vet for an annual check up and immunizations. We talked with the vet about his decline. The vet said that he is approaching 13 years old and that labs only live to about 14 years old. I have a feeling we will be losing him soon. He has started drinking a ton of water and peeing while he sleeps. He also is hesitant to go up and down the stairs, it has been a challenge. I can't imagine losing my boy, he was our first kid. We got him as a puppy and he has always been a part of our married life. I have felt pretty good today but have been tired. It is hard to sleep because every time I lay down I start coughing, I have a bad deep cough right now and a lot of nasal congestion. I still do not have all of my energy but considering I do feel much better. We got take out for dinner tonight and rented a couple of Redbox movies. I don't want to go out and about because I know my counts are low and I do not want to get sick. Hadlee came over to play with Kaci so she is entertained. They haven't seen each other in a while so they are really happy to get together and play. Overall today was a pretty good day.
Sunday, February 1, 2015 (Day 6)- Today I have been so tired and weak. I even had to take my anti-nausea medication. I slept really good last night and didn't cough a whole lot. I was able to take a good nap this afternoon too. I made dinner but had to sit down the whole time because I kept getting light headed. I do not have as much energy today as I had on Friday and Saturday. I guess the side effects are coming back to bite me a little bit. I hope I can go to work tomorrow but until I wake up tomorrow I cannot make that decision just yet. If I don't feel well I will stay home and rest the whole day as hard as it will be but I do not want to set myself back any further and need to listen to my body and take it easy when it wants me to. I can't wait for these side effects to wear off because after this I will never have to feel this way again.
Monday, February 2, 2015 (Day 7)- Today was a real crappy day! The side effects have definitely come back to bite me. Last night I started with a very sore tonsil, ear pain and my left eye was hurting me. I did not sleep well due to my sore throat, ear and my eye as well as my cough that is still lingering. When I woke up I nearly fell down, I was so lightheaded. Jeff got up and took care of the animals and I had a bowl of cereal. After I went to look at myself in the mirror and my left eyelid is so swollen it is affecting my vision, who knows where that came from. I went back to sleep and woke up around 11:00AM but stayed in bed until 1:00PM when I went to heat up some soup for lunch. I had the chills so I took my temperature and it was 99.9, I knew if it got to 100.4 then I had to call the doctor. Well it didn't take long to get to that point. I called the doctor at 1:45PM and they said to come in. They took my blood and did a Nadir visit. My white blood cell count was lower than it ever has been and they believe that is where the fever is coming from but with the other symptoms I have going on they prescribed an antibiotic that I have to take for 7 days. The doctor said to take Tylenol to try and get the fever down and help me feel better but because my platelet counts are so low I cannot take Ibprofin. She said with the antibiotic by tomorrow evening the fever should break. It's not looking like I will be able to go back to work tomorrow either. I took my temperature two hours after the Tylenol and now it is 100.9. I cant win! It's okay though it will make me stronger, right?
Tuesday, February 3, 2015 (Day 8)- Today was another very bad day. I didn't get much sleep last night due to my fever, ear, eye and throat pain. About 3:00AM I was desperate so I decided to take Ibprofin anyway against the doctors orders. It did take my fever away but not before I woke up sweaty from head to toe. I have never sweat so bad in all my life, even my pillow was soaking wet from my head and face I had to throw it off the bed and use another pillow. I woke up at 6:45AM and my fever was gone but my eye and throat have hurt me all day long even to the point that it makes me cry. Here I am this evening and my fever is back in full force even 101 at one point. I took Ibprofin again but will wait until tomorrow to call the doctor. They told me to call this afternoon if it wasn't gone and I was two days into taking my antibiotics but I feel I want to give it another day. I was so sad that I couldn't go to work today, I feel so alone in this house all by myself with nothing to do other than to watch TV. If I at least had some energy I could do things around the house but I don't. I am very limited to TV and Internet. I wish I could read my People magazines but my eye is so swollen it is hard to read the small print. I feel so weak today, weaker than I have felt this whole time. I just pray and pray for some relief but as of yet I am not getting it. All I can do is cry today, it is such a bad day!!!!
Wednesday, February 4, 2015 (Day 9)- I had a much better day today since my fever was totally gone by the time I woke up this morning. My throat felt a little bit better this morning but I still took Ibuprofen to feel better. I am nervous to take it because of the blood thinning factor but I do believe it helped the swelling in my eye but I know I need to be careful with it. My eye is a different story, I woke up with it more swollen than it has been and it was very hard to see out of it but by this afternoon the swelling went down a little bit but it is still painful. When I woke up this morning and looked at myself in the mirror I immediately started crying, I was crying because I feel like I look so different, which I do but I was upset because I wanted to go to work today and I didn't know how I could face everybody with the way I looked. I immediately said a little prayer and got a nudge to go to work and face it, they need to see how hard this is for me too. I got ready fast since I only put a little mascara on the one eye. I am glad I went because Terry and Steve said the nicest things to me. Steve really does understand how hard this is for me, he is the best owner anybody could ever work for, I am truly blessed. I only worked about 6 hours but it was a lot more than I thought I would be able to work. My energy still is not at 100% but hopefully tomorrow it will be. I am also hoping the antibiotics will kick whatever it is that is going on with my eye but maybe it is a side effect and antibiotics won't help that, only time will. Tonight my good friend Leslie came over with her two girls and while the kids played we talked and talked. She is honestly the most generous, genuine person I know and I am so thankful she is my friend. It felt so good to just hang out and feel normal since the last week and a half I have not felt normal. Afterwards I was able to make a good dinner for my family, take a bath, watch American Idol and call it a night. I would say today was a good day!!!!
Thursday, February 5, 2015 (Day 10)- I did not sleep well last night, I was up coughing all night long. I think I got about 5 hours of sleep if that. When I woke up my eye was more swollen than the previous days, I was so discouraged because now I think it is a side effect and not a bacterial infection that will go away with antibiotics. One day I will look normal again (I hope)! I went to work anyway very exhausted and not liking anything about the way I look. I was late again though and got in a little after 8:00AM but did stay until 3:00PM. Yesterday Jeff said the most beautiful thing to me ever, he said to Kaci in front of me that he wishes he had my eyes and Kaci said why to take some of mom's pain and he said not only that but so that she can see how beautiful she is through my eyes. I can't stop thinking about that and I will cherish is forever!!! I really needed that because I have been so emotional this week. My energy is almost near 100% and maybe it would have been had I got good sleep last night. I coughed all day long and am a little nervous about going to sleep tonight because sleep is all I want right now. Overall it was a good day and I am excited to go to work tomorrow but upset that it is Friday because that means another treatment on Monday and without knowing how it is going to affect me it scares me to death. I do hope to go into work for part of next week and that is what I am trying to focus on but I am also prepared just in case I can't go in.
Friday, February 6, 2015 (Day 11)- Today is Friday, a day I have learned not to like because it is my last day at work and I have another treatment on Monday. I know eventually I will learn to look forward to Friday's again. I worked almost a full day but I did leave for a lunch break because today was my aunt Karen's last day of chemo and we all went to Olive Garden to celebrate. It was such a special day for her and I was so glad to be a part of it. She has been during chemo since September. I would like to say that my energy is at 100% today but I don't think it is. I was still a little tired and run down today. My eye appears to be getting better but both of them were running like crazy today. I sure hope my eyes clear up in the next couple of weeks while I am on Taxol, there is a chance they won't clear up until I am done with chemo because watery eyes is a side effect of Taxol too. I am looking forward to the weekend, we have a lot to get done around the house and go grocery shopping but tomorrow I think we will go to the movie again with the gift cards that we received from Jeff's friends at work and then grab some dinner. I at least need to get out of the house for fun before Monday comes.
Saturday, February 7, 2015 (Day 12)- Today is day 12 and I still don't feel like I have 100% of my energy back. I felt pretty good though and we went to Walmart to grocery shop and then headed to lunch and a movie. It was a beautiful warm day outside and just the sunshine and warmth made me happy. I just wish the day would have went by slower, it went by way to fast. My eye appears to be almost all the way back to normal, there is just a little bit of swelling in the corner but nothing you can see unless you look up close. Of course my eyes are still running a little bit but not super bad, okay they were running bad when we were at Walmart and I hit a guy with our cart, after that Jeff took over driving the cart and when we got home he told Kaci a very exaggerated story of how bad I hurt the guy, I only bumped him a little bit and I felt bad but eyes were clouded with tears when it happened. We just laugh about it now. Tomorrow is cleaning day, yuck! I wish we could have another fun day out but the house must be cleaned and we don't have any money for it anyway.
Sunday, February 8, 2015 (Day 13)- We got the house cleaned today, yay!!! I am making dinner for my family and then we will take it easy the rest of the night. Kaci wants to paint my nails later so they are done for tomorrow morning. Today I have been a little tired and have just taken it easy in between all of my chores. I am super nervous for tomorrow with starting the new regimen. Like Jeff said earlier today, he doesn't expect it to be a walk in the park but compared to what I have been through on AC he hopes it will be easier for me. I hope I can get some sleep tonight but knowing me I will be up worrying about tomorrow. I guess once I get the first round done at least I can somewhat know what to expect, of course there is always a chance I might get some surprises like I did on AC.
Side effects this round:
Little nausea and tiredness
Fever over 100.4
Eyelid swelling
Watery eyes
Sore throat with ear pain
The same rash I had on my face and back has now spread all over my arms even though I have taken a Claritin and Benadryl every day. At least it is off of my face!!!!
Side effects I didn't have:
Heartburn, not one ounce of it. I will continue taking 2 Pepcid's a day even through Taxol. It was a nice break to not have to experience heartburn this round. I guess being proactive works out sometimes.
I still have all my eyelashes, eyebrows, nose and arm hair. I have a feeling I may lose them on Taxol as everybody I have talked to loses most of them. Maybe I will be lucky since I am not on the 12 weekly does but on the 4 dose dense version.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
4th and Final AC treatment- Yahoo!!!!!
Today was the 4th and final AC treatment that I will ever have to have in my life. While it has been extremely hard with me wanting to quit at times, I sure hope that it has done what it is supposed to and I will be cancer free for quite a while. I can't believe I did it, I finished all four! I guess when you are put in a situation you find your inner strength. I honestly do not know where mine came from but I definitely found it. I am sure some of it came from my great support team cheering me on as well as Heavenly Father, I have never prayed so hard in my life. Either way I am proud of myself for continuing and I will hope for the best. The next 4 treatments will be Taxol and hopefully they will be a lot easier on me than AC.
Kaci painted my nails and made me a special card that I can turn the center to what I want to have that day, like be strong, laugh, have fun and feel good. She is so sweet. She can't wait to come to the last treatment with us. Hopefully it will be here before we know it, come on March 23rd.
Jeff and I sat at a table the whole time and completed a 500 piece puzzle. It sure made the time go by faster and I didn't feel the effects of the chemo drugs until we were walking out. It was a nice distraction.
Dr. Stinnett wants me to come back this Friday for fluids, he said I will really benefit from them earlier in this treatment. He said I have pretty much checked off every box for the side effects of AC. We are hoping that I don't check all the boxes on Taxol too! I am looking forward to getting a little break for the next two months.
After we got home I drank some chicken broth and drank some water and went to bed. I woke up hungry and my nice gracious neighbors brought us dinner. I had no idea they were doing dinner so it was a very nice surprise and much needed. Thank you again Melissa and Stacie!!!! I took some anti-nausea meds and went to bed. I actually slept quite well.
Kaci painted my nails and made me a special card that I can turn the center to what I want to have that day, like be strong, laugh, have fun and feel good. She is so sweet. She can't wait to come to the last treatment with us. Hopefully it will be here before we know it, come on March 23rd.
Jeff and I sat at a table the whole time and completed a 500 piece puzzle. It sure made the time go by faster and I didn't feel the effects of the chemo drugs until we were walking out. It was a nice distraction.
Dr. Stinnett wants me to come back this Friday for fluids, he said I will really benefit from them earlier in this treatment. He said I have pretty much checked off every box for the side effects of AC. We are hoping that I don't check all the boxes on Taxol too! I am looking forward to getting a little break for the next two months.
After we got home I drank some chicken broth and drank some water and went to bed. I woke up hungry and my nice gracious neighbors brought us dinner. I had no idea they were doing dinner so it was a very nice surprise and much needed. Thank you again Melissa and Stacie!!!! I took some anti-nausea meds and went to bed. I actually slept quite well.
Thursday, January 22, 2015
3rd Round of AC (side effects January 12- January 26, 2015)
Monday, January 12, 2015- After treatment I immediately went home and Jeff made me some chicken broth and I sipped on that and water and went to bed. I think I woke up around 6:00PM when our friends Melissa and Stacie brought us dinner. I woke up to eat and then went to lay back down to watch The Bachelor, I think I only saw the first 5 minutes and woke up when the news came on. I can't believe I missed it, I will have to watch it on the computer now. Then I turned off the TV and slept the rest of the night.
Tuesday, January 13, 2015 (Day 2)- I woke up at 8:30AM when Jeff had my breakfast ready. I ate my breakfast and went back to bed until about noon. Mom brought me a taco salad from Taco Time and she stayed and watched TV with me. She left at 5:00PM. I am getting ready to eat some dinner and go to bed. So far I just feel super tired but not really sick. I know the side effects take a few days to set in but maybe, just maybe this round will be easier on with me with no weird things popping up like they have the last few times.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015 (Day 3)- I think I slept the entire day away. Bonnie came over to make sure I had lunch and then I went back to bed. My good neighbors, Stacie and Melissa brought over a very yummy spaghetti dinner for our family. These friends that continue to bring meals in are just so nice. They seem to know the exact time that we need it the most. Thank you to all of my friends who have provided meals for our family, we appreciate it more than you will ever know.
Thursday, January 15, 2015 (Day 4)- Today I woke up at 5:00AM and needed breakfast, I had that nausea feeling lingering in my tummy. I had a bowl of cereal and took some meds and went back to bed. I didn't really sleep but I did relax. Jeff worked from home today so he could help me and also to get Kaci to dance at 4:15PM. I had some spaghetti left overs at 10:30AM, it was just as good as the night before. Then I took an hour nap or so. I haven't been sleeping as much today and I would like to think that is a sign that the side effects are starting to wear off a bit early. I guess time will tell and I am trying to not get my hopes up.
Friday, January 16, 2015 (Day 5)- I was awake for most of the day. I even had a little bit of energy. I took it easy just relaxing on the couch and only took one nap today.
Saturday, January 17, 2015 (Day 6)- I didn't sleep well last night and I am not sure why. I still woke up with a lot more energy than yesterday. Jeff and Kaci wanted to go snowmobiling so that the house could be quiet and I could rest. I told them I wanted to be with them today and that I felt a lot better, still not 100% but good enough to get out of the house. We went to a movie this afternoon and then back to my mom's house for an hour or so and then we went to Tony's for dinner and then even went to Old Navy to look at clearance again. I ended up having to go sit in the car since I was getting dizzy. We got home around 7:00PM and I went straight to bed. It was still nice to feel this good on the Saturday of my chemo week. This round has definitely been the easiest so far. I think I needed that so that I won't hesitate going in for my 4th and final dose of AC.
Sunday, January 18, 2015 (Day 7)- Today I woke up with a little less energy and being a little bit light headed. I got the two loads of wash done but other than that I have not felt good all day. I have taken it easy with the hopes that I can go to work tomorrow. Maybe I over did it yesterday but the side effects won't start wearing off until mid week so it might just be part of the cycle. The rash on my forehead and my back is getting worse. I now have sores on my arms, shoulders and moving down my face. They itch but also hurt. At least I can somewhat hide the ones on my face with makeup. I can't believe how many sores there are. I can't wait to be finished with AC chemo, it has some really weird side effects. My nose is super stuffy too and is making me have a bad cough at night. My eyes are still watering like crazy. Hopefully within a week or two after finishing this last cycle these things will go away. I know Taxol has its own list of side effects but none of them seem quite this harsh. Jeff and Kaci went to the auto show and I stayed home. I went and sat on my bathroom counter and looked at myself in the mirror and cried and cried. I can't believe how different I look physically just from the chemo alone. I have that lovely rash on my face, my eyes appear sunken in and the color on my face is different. Plus with my runny eyes I look like I am crying all the time. I shouldn't have done that but I felt a little better after a good cry but I really miss my hair. I know it is going to take a long time to grow back in to a style that I am comfortable with. Today was just a sad day for me.
Monday, January 19, 2015 (Day 8)- I made it to work today, I wasn't so sure after the day I had yesterday. I only made it 6 hours before I needed to go home and rest. I don't feel the best and had to take my anti-nausea pills before I left this morning but so far I am doing okay. I have a desk job so it is not hard to sit down and work, plus I love it and it gives me the mental boost I need since I really cannot go anywhere else because of low blood counts. I love my work.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015 (Day 9)- This morning I woke up and didn't feel good at all. I ate breakfast at 5:30AM because I had to get something on my stomach. Then I went back to bed until 8:00AM. I stayed in bed until about 8:20AM and then got up and got in the shower and got ready for work. I made it to work at 9:00AM. I still don't feel well but I just don't want to stay home today. I can't believe it is now Tuesday of my supposedly "good week" and I feel like this. I am worried that I might not get too many days at 100% this round. Oh how I need those 100% days to make myself go back for another treatment. I ended up going into the doctors office to get fluids this afternoon. They also gave me some Zofran anti-nausea medication also. My mom came with me since Tuesday is her day off. We were there for 3 hours. I didn't feel better right after, I was super tired but it was probably from the Zofran. I tried to go to bed at 7:15PM but my legs were so restless and I am not sure why, I ended up falling asleep after midnight.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015 (Day 10)- Today I woke up and felt great! I don't know if it was the fluids that helped or it was just time for the side effects to wear off. Regardless I made it to work on time and have felt good all day. I am so glad, I was getting frustrated feeling so lousy. Only one more AC treatment to go, that it what I keep saying over and over in my head.
Thursday, January 22, 2015 (Day 11)- I am feeling 100% energy wise. My eyes are running like crazy today, it is so irritating and there is nothing I can do but wait it out. I hope they stop running after this AC chemo is done. My rash still looks the same even with taking antihistamines and using Benadryl cream. I hope on Monday Dr. Stinnett can give me something to help it go away.
Friday, January 23, 2015 (Day 12)- Today I felt great again just as I will throughout the weekend. I went to a funeral of one of my vendors that was quite sad. Other than that I worked all day. Heather and Brian came over last night and brought all of us dinner and we hung out just like old times. I love those moments when I feel totally normal and like nothing has ever happened. Kaci and Kenlee painted each other faces, it was quite hilarious. I know in the future cancer won't be the first thing I think of when I wake up and when I go to bed at night. I can't wait to get my life back on the normal track. My rash appears to be getting better on my face, I am so excited. My back still looks bad and my arms are getting worse.
Saturday, January 24, 2015 (Day 13)- Today we went to the Living Planet Aquarium, we spent over four hours there. It was so much fun and not once did I think about my current situation. Afterwards, we went to dinner at Outback Steakhouse, one of Jeff's good friends from work bought us a bunch of gift cards that we could use during this time. It was so nice to have such a good dinner. We made a full day out of it and got home after 7:00PM last night.
Side effects from the 3rd round:
-watery eyes
-rash
-little bit of nausea
-fatigue and exhaustion lasted longer this time (9-1/2 days to be exact)
-runny nose and cough
-painful urination for one day
Tuesday, January 13, 2015 (Day 2)- I woke up at 8:30AM when Jeff had my breakfast ready. I ate my breakfast and went back to bed until about noon. Mom brought me a taco salad from Taco Time and she stayed and watched TV with me. She left at 5:00PM. I am getting ready to eat some dinner and go to bed. So far I just feel super tired but not really sick. I know the side effects take a few days to set in but maybe, just maybe this round will be easier on with me with no weird things popping up like they have the last few times.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015 (Day 3)- I think I slept the entire day away. Bonnie came over to make sure I had lunch and then I went back to bed. My good neighbors, Stacie and Melissa brought over a very yummy spaghetti dinner for our family. These friends that continue to bring meals in are just so nice. They seem to know the exact time that we need it the most. Thank you to all of my friends who have provided meals for our family, we appreciate it more than you will ever know.
Thursday, January 15, 2015 (Day 4)- Today I woke up at 5:00AM and needed breakfast, I had that nausea feeling lingering in my tummy. I had a bowl of cereal and took some meds and went back to bed. I didn't really sleep but I did relax. Jeff worked from home today so he could help me and also to get Kaci to dance at 4:15PM. I had some spaghetti left overs at 10:30AM, it was just as good as the night before. Then I took an hour nap or so. I haven't been sleeping as much today and I would like to think that is a sign that the side effects are starting to wear off a bit early. I guess time will tell and I am trying to not get my hopes up.
Friday, January 16, 2015 (Day 5)- I was awake for most of the day. I even had a little bit of energy. I took it easy just relaxing on the couch and only took one nap today.
Saturday, January 17, 2015 (Day 6)- I didn't sleep well last night and I am not sure why. I still woke up with a lot more energy than yesterday. Jeff and Kaci wanted to go snowmobiling so that the house could be quiet and I could rest. I told them I wanted to be with them today and that I felt a lot better, still not 100% but good enough to get out of the house. We went to a movie this afternoon and then back to my mom's house for an hour or so and then we went to Tony's for dinner and then even went to Old Navy to look at clearance again. I ended up having to go sit in the car since I was getting dizzy. We got home around 7:00PM and I went straight to bed. It was still nice to feel this good on the Saturday of my chemo week. This round has definitely been the easiest so far. I think I needed that so that I won't hesitate going in for my 4th and final dose of AC.
Sunday, January 18, 2015 (Day 7)- Today I woke up with a little less energy and being a little bit light headed. I got the two loads of wash done but other than that I have not felt good all day. I have taken it easy with the hopes that I can go to work tomorrow. Maybe I over did it yesterday but the side effects won't start wearing off until mid week so it might just be part of the cycle. The rash on my forehead and my back is getting worse. I now have sores on my arms, shoulders and moving down my face. They itch but also hurt. At least I can somewhat hide the ones on my face with makeup. I can't believe how many sores there are. I can't wait to be finished with AC chemo, it has some really weird side effects. My nose is super stuffy too and is making me have a bad cough at night. My eyes are still watering like crazy. Hopefully within a week or two after finishing this last cycle these things will go away. I know Taxol has its own list of side effects but none of them seem quite this harsh. Jeff and Kaci went to the auto show and I stayed home. I went and sat on my bathroom counter and looked at myself in the mirror and cried and cried. I can't believe how different I look physically just from the chemo alone. I have that lovely rash on my face, my eyes appear sunken in and the color on my face is different. Plus with my runny eyes I look like I am crying all the time. I shouldn't have done that but I felt a little better after a good cry but I really miss my hair. I know it is going to take a long time to grow back in to a style that I am comfortable with. Today was just a sad day for me.
Monday, January 19, 2015 (Day 8)- I made it to work today, I wasn't so sure after the day I had yesterday. I only made it 6 hours before I needed to go home and rest. I don't feel the best and had to take my anti-nausea pills before I left this morning but so far I am doing okay. I have a desk job so it is not hard to sit down and work, plus I love it and it gives me the mental boost I need since I really cannot go anywhere else because of low blood counts. I love my work.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015 (Day 9)- This morning I woke up and didn't feel good at all. I ate breakfast at 5:30AM because I had to get something on my stomach. Then I went back to bed until 8:00AM. I stayed in bed until about 8:20AM and then got up and got in the shower and got ready for work. I made it to work at 9:00AM. I still don't feel well but I just don't want to stay home today. I can't believe it is now Tuesday of my supposedly "good week" and I feel like this. I am worried that I might not get too many days at 100% this round. Oh how I need those 100% days to make myself go back for another treatment. I ended up going into the doctors office to get fluids this afternoon. They also gave me some Zofran anti-nausea medication also. My mom came with me since Tuesday is her day off. We were there for 3 hours. I didn't feel better right after, I was super tired but it was probably from the Zofran. I tried to go to bed at 7:15PM but my legs were so restless and I am not sure why, I ended up falling asleep after midnight.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015 (Day 10)- Today I woke up and felt great! I don't know if it was the fluids that helped or it was just time for the side effects to wear off. Regardless I made it to work on time and have felt good all day. I am so glad, I was getting frustrated feeling so lousy. Only one more AC treatment to go, that it what I keep saying over and over in my head.
Thursday, January 22, 2015 (Day 11)- I am feeling 100% energy wise. My eyes are running like crazy today, it is so irritating and there is nothing I can do but wait it out. I hope they stop running after this AC chemo is done. My rash still looks the same even with taking antihistamines and using Benadryl cream. I hope on Monday Dr. Stinnett can give me something to help it go away.
Friday, January 23, 2015 (Day 12)- Today I felt great again just as I will throughout the weekend. I went to a funeral of one of my vendors that was quite sad. Other than that I worked all day. Heather and Brian came over last night and brought all of us dinner and we hung out just like old times. I love those moments when I feel totally normal and like nothing has ever happened. Kaci and Kenlee painted each other faces, it was quite hilarious. I know in the future cancer won't be the first thing I think of when I wake up and when I go to bed at night. I can't wait to get my life back on the normal track. My rash appears to be getting better on my face, I am so excited. My back still looks bad and my arms are getting worse.
Saturday, January 24, 2015 (Day 13)- Today we went to the Living Planet Aquarium, we spent over four hours there. It was so much fun and not once did I think about my current situation. Afterwards, we went to dinner at Outback Steakhouse, one of Jeff's good friends from work bought us a bunch of gift cards that we could use during this time. It was so nice to have such a good dinner. We made a full day out of it and got home after 7:00PM last night.
Side effects from the 3rd round:
-watery eyes
-rash
-little bit of nausea
-fatigue and exhaustion lasted longer this time (9-1/2 days to be exact)
-runny nose and cough
-painful urination for one day
Monday, January 12, 2015
Third AC Chemo Treatment
January 12, 2015: Today was the 3rd of my 4 does of AC chemo (only one more of this yucky kind to go). Kaci painted my nails various shades of pink with one nail black, this was all her idea and a surprise to me, they all have sparkles on them as well.
This time my mom came with me and Jeff. It was good for her to see what I go through. I decided to wear my cute new clearance hat that Kaci and I got from Old Navy this past weekend. We decided to share it because we both like it so much. She only wants it for sledding and I want it for work so we will share it. She liked that I came home with it on and I told her thanks for letting me borrow it today. I want her to feel like she is a part of this any way I can. She probably won't come again until my last treatment on March 23rd. I don't like to pull her out of school and get her further behind.
My friend Pam was there again and it is always nice to see her. I met another gal Carol who is a spitfire and kept us laughing the entire time. She is battling ovarian cancer and has had to have surgery to remove her ovaries and then half of her chemo and then surgery to remove her uterus and then more chemo. My thoughts and prayers are with her as she begins this battle. I had a nice time talking with everybody. Lisa my other chemo nurse and gave me some good words of encouragement as I have felt discouraged lately. Debbie is still my rock, she is amazing and always makes me feel comfortable. I feel so blessed to have met such wonderful people. Dr. Stinnett sure does have my well being in mind as he is treating me. I only ate a couple of rolls before the chemo drugs were injected and then chewed on ice chips the rest of time to try and minimize the mouth sores this go around.. My eyes are still watering and I was told they may not go away until this AC chemo is done, so for now I just look like I am always crying. After we got home I ended up eating some mashed potatoes and gravy and then for dinner my friends Melissa and Stacie brought over Tacos for dinner, they were really yummy. I have found as long as I don't eat while the chemo drugs are being injected or for a few hours after then I don't get food aversions . We were in and out of there in 4 hours but it felt like we were only there an hour because we had so much fun this time. Who would have ever thought that the chemo room would be fun. I guess it is what you make of it and the group of people I was with this time all have a positive attitude like me. The hardest part about today was that I could not make it to the funeral of my cousins daughter. Her daughter died on Wednesday from dusting (sniffing canned air). She was only 19 and a very beautiful girl. We did go to the viewing Sunday night but I didn't have the heart to tell Tammy why I could not be there the next day, she is already going through so much with the death of her daughter I didn't want her to have any more worries. This family has been weighing on my mind so much. All I can do is pray for them and pray that Tammy and her husband will take this to the next level when they are ready and educated other teenagers about this danger. Rest in peace Tiffany Elise Sibert.
This time my mom came with me and Jeff. It was good for her to see what I go through. I decided to wear my cute new clearance hat that Kaci and I got from Old Navy this past weekend. We decided to share it because we both like it so much. She only wants it for sledding and I want it for work so we will share it. She liked that I came home with it on and I told her thanks for letting me borrow it today. I want her to feel like she is a part of this any way I can. She probably won't come again until my last treatment on March 23rd. I don't like to pull her out of school and get her further behind.
Sunday, January 11, 2015
All of my hair fell out today
Today was a great day! About 2:30PM I was rubbing my head as usual since it has been so dang itchy this week and then I looked at my hands and I had a lot of stubble on them. I did it again and there was even more. I got so excited so I went to the bathroom sink and put some water on my head and rubbed again, I was in shock of how much stubble was in the sink. I can't believe it took almost 4 weeks to the day of my first treatment to fall out completely, I began to wonder if I would be the first person ever whose hair didn't fall out on AC chemo and yet I took it upon myself to shave it off after two weeks. The reason I was so excited, like it was my birthday or something is because I couldn't wait for it to all fall out. I knew the itching would subside and then my hats and wig wouldn't stick like Velcro to it anymore. I got in the shower and rubbed and rubbed until it was all gone. I have a few stragglers left but I know they will come out any time now. Sometimes, it's the little things that make you happy. Now, the next time I have stubble and itching I will be super excited again because that means my hair will be starting to grow back and that is my reward for finishing the treatments!
Saturday, January 10, 2015
2nd Round of AC (side effects Dec. 29th- Jan. 10th)
January 3rd, 2015 (Saturday, Day 6)- I have not been writing down how I have felt this week since my treatment on Monday. I have been sleeping steady. I have taken both of my anti-nausea medicines regularly and I must say that I feel this round has been kinder to me than the first round. On New Years Eve, Jeff and Kaci went to our friends house for a party, we get together with them every year and I didn't want them to miss out because of me, I would be sleeping anyway. They had a great time. I had my mom come over around 6:00PM and we had Taco Time for dinner and then at 8:30PM I asked if she wanted to go lay in bed with me because I was so tired but she decided to head home instead. I fell asleep fast and woke up to Kaci and Jeff getting home a little after midnight and Kaci yelling through out the house something about 2015. It was cute but I was too tired to get up and ask them how the party was. Yesterday, (Friday) my mom called to see if Kaci wanted to go to the movie "Annie" and of course she did. She left about 12:30PM. I woke up around 3:00PM and took a shower and then asked Jeff if he would go over to Winegar's with me so I could put my check in the bank. So I put on my hair and was ready to go, it's nice how fast I can get ready now! After the bank I was craving a Mocha Frappe from McDonalds. I just got a small one because I don't handle caffeine very well. It sure woke me up and I was up until after midnight without any naps in between. It was nice to be awake for a change. Kaci decided to spend the night at Grandma's so Jeff and I heated up some soup for dinner and then sat down and watched Under Cover Boss and Shark Tank. I even walked on the treadmill for about 25 minutes to try and get things moving, the constipation has gotten to me this time and I am miserable. About 9:30PM we decided to go back to McDonalds for a snack. I told Jeff this was a great date night and I was not kidding. It was nice to spend that quality time with my husband. I feel like all I do is sleep and I miss out on so much. I think I went to bed around 10:30PM but did not fall asleep until after midnight, I am sure it was the caffeine. Today Kaci came home around 11:00AM but I have not felt good at all. I don't know if it is nausea related to chemo or constipation, either way my stomach does not feel good and I keep trying to rest but I can't. It is keeping me up. I hope things get moving soon so I can start to bounce back like I did last time. I do feel better energy wise than I did so I really think it is the constipation that is wearing me down today. I am hoping to go to work on Monday and work all week. I will not over do it. I will wake up on my own and get ready when I feel well enough and work for as long as I can and if I feel like I need to rest then I will go home. I am going to do what I can but I know January is going to be rough for me. My work is so good and they totally understand but I also know how good I feel mentally when I can go to work and feel normal for a day. Later this evening I came down with a UTI. I texted my cousin to see what she thought and she said to call the doctor on call. Dr. Samuelson called me back right away and told me to start the Levaquin antibiotic that I already had filled in the case of a fever of 100.4. He told me to take it tonight and Sunday and Monday and it should take care of it. I am glad I called instead of suffering in pain and wondering if/when I might get that fever of 100.4. I sure hope it helps. Today has been terrible for me and I am so glad it is almost over. Jeff is at the pharmacy now picking up a numbing medication to help with the pain. Apparently UTI's are somewhat common during chemotherapy. Of course I had to get this side effect too!. I am still keeping my head up but I am not sure how!!!!
January 4, 2015 (Sunday, Day 7)- Today was a horrible day. I woke up crying because I am so frustrated to still feel so lousy. I went and took a bath to try and relax and drink my lemonade. I did feel a little better after that. I let Jeff and Kaci handle the laundry, Jeff vacuumed the house and cleaned up the garage. My mom was so kind to bring dinner over to us. It was nice to be able to have a Sunday dinner with her again, it has been quite a few weeks now that I have not done it. I went to bed around 8:30PM but did not fall asleep until after 10:30PM.
January 5, 2015 (Monday, Day 8)- I woke up at 6:10AM this morning and thought to myself that I am not going to sit home and feel lousy, I am going to go to work and sit there and feel lousy. The time goes by much faster at work than at home lying in bed. I was able to make it a full day, this is my first full day in over 7 weeks. It felt so good. I only hope that this does not set me back. This afternoon my forehead started itching and broke out into a rash, another lovely side effect. I should be about through with the nausea and fatigue side effects from my last treatments. This week should progressively get better. I can't wait for the weekend, we plan on a full day of playing on Saturday. I will use Sunday to clean the house, laundry, freezer meals etc. I need a day every other week to get just out and feel normal. I had a terrible night, I came down with the worst heart burn ever about 8:30PM. I ended up taking a bath about 11:30PM to try and calm down, it didn't help. I cried and prayed so hard, I did get some comfort from my prayer and was able to lay down and fell asleep after 12:30PM.
January 6, 2015 (Tuesday, Day 9)- I woke up feeling better this morning. I was 20 minutes late to work because I was so tired. I still worked a full day. Today my head started itching so bad. I came home from work and took my wig off and put on a beanie hat. I can't believe how uncomfortable the itching is. I may have to just wear a hat tomorrow and give my scalp a break. I don't think it is the wig that is causing it, it is a side effect from the chemo. At this point I am so over how I look on the outside, I just want to be comfortable. Today despite being tired from lack of sleep I feel my energy returning to near normal. I am hoping tomorrow I will be 100%. I really want some good days before I go back on Monday. I love working so much and I love Richards Sheet Metal, everybody is good to me there. I have such great friends that I work with!
January 7, 2015 (Wednesday, Day 10)- Yeah! I am feeling 100% today, just like last time this happened on a Wednesday.
January 8, 2015 (Thursday, Day 11)- I had my appointment today with Dr. Grunander and she said everything has healed up just as it should have from surgery. When she first came in she said that I looked great and said that she thought I would have lost my hair by now. I told her she is looking at my "new hair", and she said now way. She couldn't believe it. I love when people can't tell that I am wearing a wig. All along I have wanted to blend in with the public and not look like a cancer patient and apparently I am doing an excellent job at disguising myself. I won't go back to see her until 6 months from now, I will miss Megan, she is the best doctor I have ever had but on the other hand I am tired of Dr. appointments. She is so compassionate and caring. She even gave me a lecture on why I should finish my 4 doses of AC (I had told her that I am having a hard time with it and I want to cut it short and only do 3 treatments). She told me that she will make a lot of number 4 signs for me to put in my house to remind me that I have 4 doses and I must complete them all. She is so sweet and uplifting. I will do them all but it is going to be hard. I have so much anxiety today now that the week is half way through and I am getting closer to my next treatment on Monday. I wish I could calm myself down but I am more nervous for treatment number 3 than I have been for any of them. I just know that next week I will be in bed and not at work and work is where I want to be. I can't wait for January to be over!!!! Today my eyes starting watering and have not stopped all day, I look like I have been crying non-stop. I am sure this is just another side-effect of chemo. Tonight I was able to go to the Look Good Feel Better class. It was awesome, they show you how to do your make-up while going through treatment. Pam and Erin came and I met another gal named Shannon. She is so beautiful and is about my same age and was diagnosed over the holiday's. She reminds me of myself when I first found out. I was so lost and scared. We had a great conversation and I shared a lot of my experience with her. She finds out tomorrow what her treatment plan will be. I am praying for her, I know EXACTLY how she feel right now.
January 9, 2015 (Friday, Day 12)- I woke up to dry eyes and had hoped that they wouldn't be watering today. Well they are still watering, it is so annoying. I wore a beanie hat to work today and it is every bit as itchy as my wig. I closed my office door and took it off. I am sporting the bald head for a bit to give my head a break. I hate that cancer changes my look, now my makeup won't even stay on because my eyes are watering so bad. That was the only thing that I was able to put on to look normal. I can't wait until this AC is over and hopefully my rash and watery eyes will go away. I worked all week for close to eight hours every day. This was my first full week in over seven weeks and it felt great. I felt like my life had returned to normal for a bit. I am sad though that I won't be working next week because my next treatment is on Monday, January 12th.
January 10, 2015 (Saturday, Day 13)- I woke up with watery eyes again today. I am afraid this is here to stay. My rash seems to be spreading further down my forehead and continues to itch. I also have this same rash on my upper back that started on Monday as well. I suppose all of this will make me stronger but I just don't understand why I have to get all of these side effects. We are going to head out to the movies today at Farmington Station and then go to dinner with Wayne and Debby. As long as I am not sitting at home I don't care what we do.
Side effects from the 2nd round:
-UTI
-rash
-watery eyes
-nausea
-fatigue and exhaustion
-chemopause as they call it has kicked in. My period has stopped and I am getting hot flushes like crazy and they happen most at nighttime.
January 4, 2015 (Sunday, Day 7)- Today was a horrible day. I woke up crying because I am so frustrated to still feel so lousy. I went and took a bath to try and relax and drink my lemonade. I did feel a little better after that. I let Jeff and Kaci handle the laundry, Jeff vacuumed the house and cleaned up the garage. My mom was so kind to bring dinner over to us. It was nice to be able to have a Sunday dinner with her again, it has been quite a few weeks now that I have not done it. I went to bed around 8:30PM but did not fall asleep until after 10:30PM.
January 5, 2015 (Monday, Day 8)- I woke up at 6:10AM this morning and thought to myself that I am not going to sit home and feel lousy, I am going to go to work and sit there and feel lousy. The time goes by much faster at work than at home lying in bed. I was able to make it a full day, this is my first full day in over 7 weeks. It felt so good. I only hope that this does not set me back. This afternoon my forehead started itching and broke out into a rash, another lovely side effect. I should be about through with the nausea and fatigue side effects from my last treatments. This week should progressively get better. I can't wait for the weekend, we plan on a full day of playing on Saturday. I will use Sunday to clean the house, laundry, freezer meals etc. I need a day every other week to get just out and feel normal. I had a terrible night, I came down with the worst heart burn ever about 8:30PM. I ended up taking a bath about 11:30PM to try and calm down, it didn't help. I cried and prayed so hard, I did get some comfort from my prayer and was able to lay down and fell asleep after 12:30PM.
January 6, 2015 (Tuesday, Day 9)- I woke up feeling better this morning. I was 20 minutes late to work because I was so tired. I still worked a full day. Today my head started itching so bad. I came home from work and took my wig off and put on a beanie hat. I can't believe how uncomfortable the itching is. I may have to just wear a hat tomorrow and give my scalp a break. I don't think it is the wig that is causing it, it is a side effect from the chemo. At this point I am so over how I look on the outside, I just want to be comfortable. Today despite being tired from lack of sleep I feel my energy returning to near normal. I am hoping tomorrow I will be 100%. I really want some good days before I go back on Monday. I love working so much and I love Richards Sheet Metal, everybody is good to me there. I have such great friends that I work with!
January 7, 2015 (Wednesday, Day 10)- Yeah! I am feeling 100% today, just like last time this happened on a Wednesday.
January 8, 2015 (Thursday, Day 11)- I had my appointment today with Dr. Grunander and she said everything has healed up just as it should have from surgery. When she first came in she said that I looked great and said that she thought I would have lost my hair by now. I told her she is looking at my "new hair", and she said now way. She couldn't believe it. I love when people can't tell that I am wearing a wig. All along I have wanted to blend in with the public and not look like a cancer patient and apparently I am doing an excellent job at disguising myself. I won't go back to see her until 6 months from now, I will miss Megan, she is the best doctor I have ever had but on the other hand I am tired of Dr. appointments. She is so compassionate and caring. She even gave me a lecture on why I should finish my 4 doses of AC (I had told her that I am having a hard time with it and I want to cut it short and only do 3 treatments). She told me that she will make a lot of number 4 signs for me to put in my house to remind me that I have 4 doses and I must complete them all. She is so sweet and uplifting. I will do them all but it is going to be hard. I have so much anxiety today now that the week is half way through and I am getting closer to my next treatment on Monday. I wish I could calm myself down but I am more nervous for treatment number 3 than I have been for any of them. I just know that next week I will be in bed and not at work and work is where I want to be. I can't wait for January to be over!!!! Today my eyes starting watering and have not stopped all day, I look like I have been crying non-stop. I am sure this is just another side-effect of chemo. Tonight I was able to go to the Look Good Feel Better class. It was awesome, they show you how to do your make-up while going through treatment. Pam and Erin came and I met another gal named Shannon. She is so beautiful and is about my same age and was diagnosed over the holiday's. She reminds me of myself when I first found out. I was so lost and scared. We had a great conversation and I shared a lot of my experience with her. She finds out tomorrow what her treatment plan will be. I am praying for her, I know EXACTLY how she feel right now.
January 9, 2015 (Friday, Day 12)- I woke up to dry eyes and had hoped that they wouldn't be watering today. Well they are still watering, it is so annoying. I wore a beanie hat to work today and it is every bit as itchy as my wig. I closed my office door and took it off. I am sporting the bald head for a bit to give my head a break. I hate that cancer changes my look, now my makeup won't even stay on because my eyes are watering so bad. That was the only thing that I was able to put on to look normal. I can't wait until this AC is over and hopefully my rash and watery eyes will go away. I worked all week for close to eight hours every day. This was my first full week in over seven weeks and it felt great. I felt like my life had returned to normal for a bit. I am sad though that I won't be working next week because my next treatment is on Monday, January 12th.
January 10, 2015 (Saturday, Day 13)- I woke up with watery eyes again today. I am afraid this is here to stay. My rash seems to be spreading further down my forehead and continues to itch. I also have this same rash on my upper back that started on Monday as well. I suppose all of this will make me stronger but I just don't understand why I have to get all of these side effects. We are going to head out to the movies today at Farmington Station and then go to dinner with Wayne and Debby. As long as I am not sitting at home I don't care what we do.
Side effects from the 2nd round:
-UTI
-rash
-watery eyes
-nausea
-fatigue and exhaustion
-chemopause as they call it has kicked in. My period has stopped and I am getting hot flushes like crazy and they happen most at nighttime.
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