Today, November 3rd, 2015 marks one year since I was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer. I was anticipating this day and how I would feel. Honestly I feel like it was ages ago that I had cancer and finished my treatments. I suppose that is a good thing. I also have a lot of other things that are currently happening that are on my mind instead of cancer. I am still missing my Abby girl like crazy. The routines we had with her are still fresh in my mind and I even find myself starting to grab her dish to feed her and looking for her to let her outside. Then my Kaci girl is sick with strep throat again, this is the 2nd time in 2 months. She seems to get strep and ear infections quite often. Because of her allergic reaction to 2 different classes of antibiotics they suggested we look at getting her tonsils out. I have made an appointment with an ear, nose and throat doctor and I am hoping we can do the surgery after Christmas when I am off of work and she is off of school. On top of all of this my credit card was compromised last Friday so I don't have access to my account. I should get everything a little later this week and then I need to go through the process to set up my bills with the new card number. It is such a pain!
So here I am on this super windy, rainy day. I am just going through the normal routines of my day. I am thankful for where I am at today. I feel really good emotionally even though I do have my moments when I get scared because I do not know what my future holds. I am ready to make vacation plans for next year but I get nervous to do so because that is so far out. I think I do better to make vacation plans after my 3 month doctor appointments when I get the all clear. I am trying my best to look forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas. These two holidays are very hard for me because of last year. I had my double mastectomy surgery a week before Thanksgiving so I had to have my family all pitch in and help out on Thanksgiving. I had them buy and bring things as well as help out with the last minute details in the kitchen. While they didn't mind it hurt me to know that I could not buy all the groceries and do it all myself. This year I will buy and do it all myself. I like to give them a day off. After all the years growing up they did so much on the holiday's to make it special for us, now it is our turn. I am looking forward to going black Friday shopping on Thanksgiving night this year. I know I am crazy but it is something I really love to do. Last year I was able to go to Walmart and that was it. I was totally wiped out. I am also looking forward to not having to put up my Christmas tree a week and a half before Thanksgiving like I did last year. I plan on enjoying Thanksgiving and then put up my Christmas decorations the next day. I am not as excited about Christmas as I used to be, at least the commercial part of it. Having cancer and starting chemo treatments in December have stolen some of that from me. I haven't really even started Christmas shopping and usually by now I have most of it done. I really need to enjoy the holiday's with my family this year and get out of my funk. I seriously don't know how many more we will all have together. Life changes fast and with God in control we really don't know what will happen.
So for today, I will try and make it as good as possible and not think about what happened last year. I look forward to many more good years being cancer free!
No comments:
Post a Comment