I try and keep the things I say on here positive but sometimes I have to be real so that people understand that just because I am done with my treatments doesn't mean that I am back to feeling great and 100% normal and done with the side effects.
Chemo can do a number on your body and the side effects will last a lifetime. I still have not gotten my period back. I am still in menopause and the longer I go without my cycle the more likely it is that I am in permanent menopause. There are so many things that go along with this that I didn't even know until it happened to me. Also because it happened medically and not on its own the side effects tend to be worse. Even if my cycle does appear sometime in the future these side effects will remain because of the hormone blockers I have to take for at least 10 years if not more.
I am still having so many hot flashes every day. Along with getting super hot and sweaty, my heart races and makes me quite anxious. Times this by about 30 of them a day and I am just down right uncomfortable. My doctor says that they will die down over time but he cannot tell me how much time it will take. My only relief would be to go on hormone therapy and receive estrogen supplements but with my cancer being hormone receptor positive this would only be nutrition for the cancer cells in my body. I have tried the antidepressants that some people say helps to minimize their hot flashes and while I was only on it for 3 months, I didn't notice that it helped at all so rather than having my body become addicted to them, I chose to quit them cold turkey.
Along with the hot flashes I get what feels like cold flashes. I am rarely at a comfortable temperature. I am usually extremely hot or extremely cold. It is so hard!!!!
The skin near my nail beds on both my hands and feet continue to crack and bleed. No amount of moisturizer seems to help. I knew my skin would be dry once I lacked the estrogen but overall elsewhere on my body it seems to be under control but I do put on moisturizer on every day but there is no relief for my hands.
I have to urinate often. Apparently this is another side effect of menopause and the lack of estrogen in your body. I usually get up about 6-8 times during the night. With each hot flash, I have to go to the bathroom even if I just barely went. I spend a lot of time in the bathroom and washing my hands which might be why my fingers are suffering from so much dryness.
I also cannot lose any weight. I have been exercising and eating right for quite some time now and the weight won't come off. Another side effect of stupid menopause brought on my cancer treatments!!! I hate it. I am having a really hard time looking at myself in the mirror. I have never been this heavy. I will continue to eat right and exercise anyway. It is worth it to me to keep my body healthy even if it doesn't show.
My legs hurt all the time. My doctor said it is probably arthritis due to menopause. It sure came on fast. My last cycle was last December and I started with the pain in May. Some days are worse than others but I seriously walk like an old lady. The pain is mostly concentrated in my heels but my hips do hurt at least once or twice a week. I still get on the tread mill every single day and just walk through the pain. I am starting to learn to live with constant pain.
I think back on all of those years I just took my health for granted. I was given so many good years. I do not like that chemo has taken its toll on my body. What's done is done and I cannot go back and change it even if I wanted to. Sometimes I question myself on my choice to do chemo. Sure I am here and I am alive but my quality of life is suffering greatly. I won't even go into how it has affected my intimate relationship with my husband. You get the idea!!!! I am just so thankful that I have the best husband in the world who is so supportive and understanding. I know without a doubt that he truly loves me and our love is so much deeper than all of this.
Breast Cancer and it's treatments are really hard and I did not know about all of this that happens following the treatments. It's hard to say what I would have done had I known all of this.
No comments:
Post a Comment