Weekend Getaway!

This past weekend we headed down to Fillmore Utah to go 4-wheeling.  This is the first getaway I have had in almost a year.  We invited some friends from work to go with us and had the best time.  We left Thursday afternoon and came home on Sunday.  We took our trailer and stayed at the KOA.  The mountains we rode in were so beautiful.  I love having ATV's and being able to get deep into the mountains.  Without them I would not be able to see how beautiful and breathtaking the mountains really are.  This is the also the first time that I don't think I ever thought about cancer once.  I felt completely normal and loved every second of it.  I know the further away I get from the treatments and once my hair grows out to where I am comfortable, I know cancer will get further from my mind.  I love feeling so good these days.  I try and make the most of every day.  I have told myself that this summer is going to be the best summer of my life.  We have been camping the last four weeks prior to this trip up at our Sourdough lot.  It has been enjoyable as well.  We plan on taking our trailer back to our Sourdough lot and camping every weekend until our RV road trip that we have planned in August.  There is just something about being in the mountains.  You have no cares or worries in the world and it is completely peaceful. 

Looking back to even a month ago when I was finishing up with the side effects of radiation I don't feel like any of it ever happened.  I feel like it was all a dream.  However I know it happened because I have scars and really short hair.  I am also changed on the inside, I have a new appreciation for life and am living it to its fullest.  Nobody knows when it is their time to die and you should never take a day for granted because it could be your last.  I am living in the moment and not thinking to far into the future because I do not know what it holds.  I also don't want to cause myself anxiety about the what ifs of future.  As long as I feel good today I am going to make the most of it. 

The one side effect that I have developed in the last month or so is pain in my hips, knees and ankles.  I feel like an old person every time I get up out of bed or stand up from sitting.  I looked it up online and I think it is post chemo rheumatism (joint pain).  I do not want to go back to the doctor to ask for sure just in case it is bad news, but I really feel that this is what it is.  All the symptoms I have relate to it being this.  It sucks but I try to not think about it and just deal with it when it happens.  I could have every reason in the world to be depressed but I am not!  I refuse to let cancer take away my happiness.  I heard a quote the other day that I just love.  "Cancer is not a death sentence, but rather a life sentence, it pushes one to live."