So here we are a day that I almost forgot about until I was in the shower this morning and then I remembered it is November 3rd. I would like to think of today as just a normal Thursday, I go to work and then take Kaci to dance at 4:00PM, make dinner and get her picked up at 6:00PM, do any homework she might have and call it a night. Today is going to be a normal day, a good day at that! I don't want my 2 year cancerversary to rule my day, I want it to be a day that I celebrate.
I am contemplating changing oncologists, not because I don't like my current oncologist, I do but I have questions and I don't feel like I am getting all the answers. In fact sometimes he giggles at what I ask and then I feel like an idiot for asking them, and anytime I ask about the hot flashes that are continuing to rule my word he just says "be patient, they won't last forever", well almost 2 years into it and they have not eased up at all. I really think I am going to make an appointment with someone at the Huntsman Cancer Institute in SLC. They are constantly researching and have new clinical trials going all the time. I really want to be somewhere where I can ask all of my questions and be involved with whatever "new" options there may be. A few of my friends go to doctors at Huntsman and from what they say it doesn't matter who you see, the group of doctors meet to discuss each and every case and then report back to the patient, so not only are you seeing your doctor but all of the other doctors are involved in your care as well. So basically you get the best of the best. I have always said if my cancer comes back I would go to Huntsman but I have since decided that there is no time like now to start going down there. Sure it will be about an hour drive through a lot of traffic but after this next 4 month followup this month I should go on a 6 month schedule or at least that is what my current oncologist has said. I will leave it up to my new doctor to decide my schedule.
Yesterday, November 2nd was mine and Jeff's 15 year anniversary. Me and Kaci have been sick for almost three weeks and Jeff was just starting with a cold so he wasn't feeling his best. We went to dinner anyway to celebrate and for the first time we didn't have anyone to watch Kaci so she came along with us. My mom was at work and Jeff's mom offered but it was a long way for her to come up to watch Kaci for just the short amount of time we would be gone. We could have waited and celebrated on another day but Jeff's schoolwork is taking over his weekends and most of his week day nights so we thought it would be best to just go last night on our actual anniversary. We wanted to plan a little trip but once again school has taken over. It is okay though, he is almost done. He will be graduating on April 28th next year. We have decided we are going to celebrate his graduation as well as our 15th year anniversary with a cruise to Alaska. We have invited our parents to come along and help us celebrate, we hope they are all able to make it. We haven't planned it yet but want to go either in late June or early July. I get so nervous booking a trip that far out because I am afraid that something will happen with me and we will have to cancel. I would rather not have it planned than to have it planned and have to cancel. It is a mind game that I play with myself and after having to cancel our Christmas Disneyworld trip with our family in 2014 I don't want to have to do that to all of them again. I know they wouldn't care but it makes me feel so bad. However, with a cruise I do need to get it booked right away and I can cancel with a full refund and even buy the insurance just in case. The nice thing about the cruise we are going to do is that we leave from Seattle so if I did have to cancel airfare I wouldn't be out that much money. See here I go again fearing that my cancer will return. I just wish I could turn that part of my brain completely off, to never think about it again but I can't. Being a survivor is so dang hard and until you are in my shoes you would never understand the daily battle.
Anyway I will get through today and I will make it a point to smile more and say hello to everyone I see because why wouldn't I? Today is going to be a great day and I am going to make new memories.
Here are a couple of pictures of us last night at dinner celebrating our 15 year anniversary together as a family. It really was such a beautiful night in the mountains having a yummy dinner.
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