Last week I met with a new OB/GYN. She came highly recommended and because of that I had to wait 2 months to get into see her. When I got there I had to wait 2-1/2 hours after my appointment to see her as she was behind. I was getting a little fidgety towards the end but kept calm and read magazines while I waited. I was hoping she was worth the wait!
My blood pressure looked great and they took me to the room for an exam. After the exam she said that she would do the vaginal ultrasound as well to look at my ovaries and uterine lining (remember Tamoxifen can cause uterine cancer and it is very important that they check the uterine lining). Also breast and ovarian cancer are very closely related. I was so glad that she could do that right there in the office and I wouldn't have to schedule another appointment. Last year right before I started chemo I had my annual exam and then had to have another appointment for the ultrasound.
Knowing that she was so far behind I didn't feel like she was rushing me at all. She talked to me about everything that went on this last year through and through. What a kind and caring soul she was. She decided before she has me try anything different for my menopause symptoms she wanted to run a full blood panel and check everything to see if it is all still working after chemo.
After we were done she walked me to the lab to have my blood drawn and she asked me if she could give me a hug, I of course said yes. I love hugs and I love it when I know people really do care about me and all that I have been through. She gave me the longest hug and said how much she admired my bravery for everything I went through. She also said that she wants to see me every 6 months rather than once a year. She reassured me that she is going to take very good care of me. How did I get so lucky and score another great doctor to be part of my team? I guess I do have good luck sometimes.
I got the results of my blood work back this week and of course my cholesterol is still super high. And my Vitamin D levels are really low even though I have been taking a supplement for over 6 months. Apparently when you are in menopause you need more Vitamin D that what is on the label. I was told to increase to 10,000 ui per day and she also started me on some other holistic supplements to see if that will lower my cholesterol. She didn't want to start me on a Statin right now with the other drugs that I am taking. I have also started Gabapentin to see if that will help my hot flashes. So far I am a week into it and I haven't noticed a change. I am not giving up hope just yet, I want to give it at least a month. She also recommended a low carb diet to help me lose some of the weight I have gained during my treatment. I have been exercising faithfully for over 4 months and trying to watch what I eat but I cannot lose a pound. She said a low carb diet should help me lose some weight especially since it is harder to lose weight after menopause, it is crazy to me that our hormones control so much of our bodies. While it is going to be very hard for me because I love pasta, potatoes and rice so much, I will give it a try. I am hoping for good results. I go back to see her in February for a followup and I am hoping I can be 10-15 pounds lighter and to see if these herbal remedies are helping my cholesterol situation and also if the increased Vitamin D has helped my levels. Vitamin D is very important to help my bones. Now that I am in menopause at such a young age my bone loss will be sped up by quite a few years and if I am going to live a long time I want my bones to be as healthy as possible.
I am so unhappy with my appearance lately and I think that the further away I get from treatment the harder it gets for me to look in the mirror. Sometimes I wonder if it is because I feel more "normal" now and I feel like I should look like I did before cancer or what. Anyway it is a hard internal battle right now. I need to remind myself that what is on the outside doesn't matter as much as what is on the inside.
I still have brain fog from the chemo treatments that make me forget things rather easily. I also tend to make a lot of mistakes at work. It is really frustrating to me but honestly there isn't anything I can do about it. I also get overwhelmed really easy especially with Kaci. She has so much energy and sometimes I just shut down. It is all I can do and I feel so bad that I can't be there 100% for her. I am hoping with time that this will go away but from what I hear it is usually permanent. The chemo drugs are very strong and do kill brain cells while they are killing cancer and some of them just do not grow back. I like to try and keep my life simple and worry free but there are times in life that just don't happen that way.
I am looking forward to the Christmas season. There really is a feeling
in the air that is not there any other time of year. My shopping is
done and this was the first year ever that I did not stress about it.
Things really don't get to me the way they used to. I am a lot less
stressed out about everything these days which is good but sometimes I
should worry or stress more about things than I do.
My next doctors appointment is next week with my surgeon. She will do a thorough exam on my chest wall to make sure that I don't have anything growing back. She is a great and wonderful doctor herself who always gives me a hug when I leave. I have never encountered doctors quite like these. I am seriously so thankful for each and every one of them that truly care about me.
